March 2016


20. march 2016 at 23:05 Bordel
Have you ever thought about the pointless of living?
We try, we cry, we smile, but what for? One day, everything will turn to dust and there will be no-one who could say, or simply remember. Every little thing and every big personality is going to be forgotten and lost in nowhere and I don't know why but I just have to think about death and all these fucked up questions every fucking day because I am already lost and forgotten. I have no point, no way, no meaning, I am officially off the rails. And there is nothing what I could do about it because every fucking time I try to do something with my life or just with myself something shut me down and I'm at the beginning. I have no hobbies, I'm not interested in anything because I just don't know why should I because we are so small and so fragile and we don't have to exist in the other second and I just.. don't know if I can fix some day.
Get high and drunk is the only way how I spend my free time, except being on computer and watching stupid TV shows. Sometimes I accidentally go to school, but heeey you drunken idiot, you are going to graduate and you don't know a shit.
I scream so loud but nobody listen. People I speak with are just so simple and I think no-one really know me and understand me because I am not capable of it, either.
And I'm just feeling that I'm drowning every single day and I barely made it to the other one. I'm waiting on someone who is going to save me, someone like me, but I already know this is never going to happen because I'm pure shit.

But who cares, right? Let's fake a smile and pretend that I'm normal. Day after day. Until darkness eat me up.